When is it okay to ask a woman if she’s had a boob job?

boob job

Dear Guy at the gym who asked me if I had a boob job: I’m barely awake. Did you really just ask me that? What? Why, yes, the carpet does match the drapes. I can’t believe I just answered that question. I guess I was so stunned that I rewarded your unbelievably rude question with a response that didn’t involve me Keep reading!

Why Would Anyone Worry About Cancer?

Why worry about cancer? Because, fucking cancer. It is natural if a friend or family member has been diagnosed with cancer for you to worry about getting it yourself. It is seriously going around, and is not as effective as a weight loss regime as you might think. Crossfit might be better. I get approached frequently by friends and friends Keep reading!

Breast Cancer Routine Check-ups

Breast cancer routine check-ups It feels so strange to park at The Hospital. It’s like going to your high school a few years after graduation. You feel totally at home and completely like a fish out of water at the same time. I parked between two Easter frosting-colored sedans. Just like old times being with the Old Farts. Routine six Keep reading!

Now: Post Lumpectomy Surgery Thoughts

hate mornings

Post Lumpectomy Surgery Thoughts My right arm is developing a new kind of pain that seems unfairly related to my boobs. To me, the boobs are firmly on the torso continent and the arms are more like New Zealand, which is not a continent at all. I guess cancer is like a tsunami that can affect different regions of the Keep reading!

Stage 1 Tumor: Lima or Kidney? What about pinto?

Stage 1 Tumor Follow-up post-surgical appointment today with my Surgeon. Nodes negative. Stage 1 tumor was a total wimp and measured a measly one centimeter. It’s the embarrassing garbanzo bean of cancers. Like not weighing enough to enter the light weight division before a big high school wrestling meet. Could have been worse. It could have been like a lentil or Keep reading!

Cancer Silver Linings: Friends Step Up

There is some real upside to this cancer business. Cancer silver-linings indeed. I have re-connected with some beautiful friends I haven’t spoken to in decades. We just pick up the phone and start talking like time has been suspended. As if it weren’t thirty years since we sported Farrah Fawcett hairdos together and our greatest fear was public showering in the Junior High gym Keep reading!

Cancer Treatment: Pod 5

Crash Course in Cancer Treatment One nugget I forgot to mention in my last post (Let’s blame my friend, Percocet) was that I knew we were not as poor off as the elderly patient recovering from eye surgery across from me in the post-op surgical area in Pod 5. As I slowly gained consciousness in my recovery bed after surgery, I had little Keep reading!

My Lumpectomy: Peace Out

Everything is going very well. My friends have been phenomenal. My in-laws have really stepped up with the kids. The Morning of My Lumpectomy The day of the surgery we arrived at the hospital at 6:00 a.m. The first order of business was to go to the Nuclear Medicine department and let the Gamma Ray Machine help ferret out the Keep reading!

Cancer: Say Yes to Drugs

Yes to Drugs Yes. Yes. Yes to Drugs. Everything went fine during my lumpectomy and I’m at home now resting comfortably. My bed is sanctuary. We got to the hospital on time, just like we were supposed to. Nailed it. I changed into my hospital gown and I looked amazing. Well, as amazing as one can look in a hospital Keep reading!

Lumpectomy Surgery Tomorrow

lumpectomy surgery tomorrow

T-Minus Ten and Counting: Lumpectomy Surgery Tomorrow Thanks for all the well wishes over the weekend and the wonderful gifts and support! It was so incredible to spend time with family and friends before embarking on this next phase. I go in tomorrow at 6:00 a.m. to meet the very capable surgical staff at Siteman Cancer Center. I am looking forward Keep reading!