Confederate flag has only ever meant oppression

I cannot believe we are still talking about the confederate flag allegedly representing Southern pride and heritage. Quoting Ishann Tharoor from the Washington Post, “Americans are finally accepting what many believe it has represented all along: not heritage, nor pride, nor a badge of Southern identity, but a regime of white supremacists who went to war against the Union in order to preserve the inhuman institution of slavery.” The confederate flag is as symbolic of Southern pride as a swastika is symbolic of German pride. Yes, it’s part of our history and should not be forgotten, lest we repeat our past mistakes, but it has no place in our present or future.


I admit there are just some things in the world that defy explanation to me. I understand decorating with barbie doll heads but I don’t understand confederacy worship, gun culture or fear-based existence. Symbolism is important. If it wasn’t, we wouldn’t associate feelings with symbols. The symbols we allow into our homes influence our children and let others know what we hold important.


Moronic t-shirt

I found all these symbolic gems on Etsy, not Bass Pro Shop. Pinkie swear. Who couldn’t use a sexist t-shirt advocating unlimited gun ownership? Everyone. Everyone doesn’t need that. Does that seriously get dudes laid anymore? I mean, I know these cretins are having sex, but how can that be? If I want my guy to tell me he loves me, I’d rather he just, you know, tell me. Better yet, wash my car. But, please, don’t put it on a moronic t-shirt. It’s not funny. It’s degrading.


moronic gun-shaped specialty soap

You know what your powder room needs? Weapon-themed specialty soap. Your guests may be wary to use the glycerin weapon for fear it may go off when they reach for the faucet. I know folks who like to “theme” their bathrooms. I’m imagining AK-47’s in a repeating pattern wallpaper and some shell casing candles, a shower curtain with ‘Merica! emblazoned around the tub. Nobody’s gonna question MY patriotism! I have guns all over the bathroom to prove it!


moronic boutineers

I can’t believe I didn’t think to use these clever rifle shell casings for wedding boutineers at EITHER of my weddings. Gives new meaning to guns, God and love. Nothing says I love you more than a symbol of death pinned near your heart.


moronic duck dynasty cross. Is that blood on the right corner?

Okay, I know this just isn’t my style, but do we really have to bother God with duck dynasty shit? I mean, leave God alone already. Poor God must be thinking, “I can’t believe these assholes are on my team.”


moronic killing chotchkies

I laud anyone for recycling, but this is redonk. So many uses for killing paraphernalia! Who knew? “Ronnie Bob! Go get yer ma’s keys. I think they fell into the cushions of the divan. Just feel around for some bullets or some shotgun shells. Be sure to save any unused ones! We’ve got the family reunion next week!”




Of course I saved my favorite for last. What every couple needs: matching confederate-themed nipple jewelry. I know what you’re thinking. You want to point out that one person could wear these gems on each of their nipples and it doesn’t have to be a couple thing at all. I hear you. I just figured that since the confederate heritage is one based on oppression, cruelty, racism and white dominance, that, oh, crap. I have no idea. These are just moronic. THINK OF THE CHILDREN!

4 thoughts on “Confederate flag has only ever meant oppression

  1. Good evening Jennifer. The issue of slavery being the cause for the Civil War has always been a misguided fantasy. It is tragic that many attempt to re-write history. “If the Southern States hold no right of secession, then the secession of the thirteen colonies from Great Britain is invalid, and the revolutionary war to secure independence unlawful.

    In such case, we all remain as colonies, and are subject to the British Crown. The Secession of the Colonies, and the Secession of the thirteen States, can not be one good and the other evil, they are both one or the other. Similar conditions existed in both cases and both felt their liberties threatened.”

    In actuality the Southern States fought to repel aggression & invasion and also for self-government, just as the fathers of the American revolution had done.

    President Abraham Lincoln himself confessed at first that he had no constitutional right to make war against a State, so he resorted to the subterfuge of calling for troops to suppress “combinations” of persons in the Southern States “too powerful to be suppressed by the ordinary” processes.

    Now then, with that said, here are the perspectives from which the North and South went to war in 1861.

    1) “The North. The Northern States held approximately 80-90% of the industrial capabilities of the States. But, these industrial capabilities were useless without the raw products coming from the South. Tobacco, cotton, hemp, etc were what the North used to maintain its economic stranglehold and wealth. Without the South’s raw materials, it would have been economic and political disaster. And this simply would not be tolerated by the North. The statement “War is money” was as valid then as it is now.

    2) The South. The Southern States were simple workers who provided products that were shipped overseas. The North did not care what type of labor supplied these products. Slavery, to the North, was a Division Of Labor. And after many years of abuse and oppression, the South had tired from being subjected to Northern rules of politics, trade and economy. The “fat cats” of the North were strangling the South. And the South knew this. They simply tired of this folly, and proceeded to establish a new government for themselves as did the colonists when they wanted their freedom from King George III of Britain.

    Slavery was a scapegoat for all the differences that existed between the North and South. The Northern industrialists had wanted a war since about 1830 to get the South’s resources (land, cotton, coal, timber, minerals ) for pennies on the dollar. All wars are economic and are always between centralist and decentralists. The North would have found an excuse to invade the South even if slavery had never existed.

    A war almost occurred during 1828-1832 over the tariff when South Carolina passed nullification laws. The U.S. congress had increased the tariff rate on imported products to 40% (known as the tariff of abominations in Southern States ). This crisis had nothing to do with slavery. If slavery had never existed, or had been eliminated at the time the Declaration of Independence was written in 1776 or anytime prior to 1860, there would still have been a war sooner or later.

    TARIFFS – Prior to the war about 75% of the money to operate the Federal Government was derived from the Southern States via an unfair sectional tariff on imported goods and 50% of the total 75% was from just 4 Southern states–Virginia- North Carolina–South Carolina and Georgia. Only 10-20% of this tax money was being returned to the South. The Southern states were being treated as an agricultural colony of the North and bled dry. John Randolph of Virginia’s remarks in opposition to the tariff of 1820 demonstrates that fact.

    The North claimed that they fought the war to preserve the Union but the New England Industrialists who were in control of the North were actually supporting preservation of the Union to maintain and increase revenue from the tariff. The industrialists wanted the South to pay for the industrialization of America at no expense to themselves. Revenue bills introduced in the U.S. House of Representatives prior to the War Between the States were biased, unfair and inflammatory to the South. Abraham Lincoln had promised the Northern industrialists that he would increase the tariff rate if he was elected president of the United States. Lincoln increased the rate to a level that exceeded even the “Tariff of Abominations” 40% rate that had so infuriated the South during the 1828-1832 era ( between 50 and 51% on iron goods). The election of a president that was Anti-Southern on all issues and politically associated with the New England industrialists, fanatics, and zealots brought about the Southern secession movement.

    Like it or not, slavery was not the issue for the war of Northern aggression of 1861-1865, and the calls now for the removal of the Confederate flag is based on pure ignorance.

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