Cynic’s Guide To How To Be A Good Father

What Makes a Good Father? In trying to come up with an innovative approach to commemorate Father’s Day this year, I scoured the Internet for inspiration. The only thing doing so accomplished was to thoroughly depress me and incite me to riot. I am an equal opportunity offender when it comes to disliking both Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. I’ve Keep reading!

How To Make a New Mother Paranoid

Is It Ever a Good Decade to Have a Baby? Any Good Ideas to Make a New Mother Paranoid? I dedicate this post to new mothers everywhere. Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers, but especially to first time moms. My mother smoked a half pack of cigarettes each day she was pregnant with me. As a child of the 1970’s, Keep reading!

How Old Is Too Old To Trick or Treat?

too old to trick or treat

My answer is never. You are never too old to trick or treat. I know it’s unseasonal to write about my favorite holiday, Halloween, when cottonwood trees are trying to kill my nasal passages, but I can no longer deny my friend’s request to showcase him in a blogpost. Because, actually, I do take requests for topics. This particular friend was Keep reading!

Having a Bad Day

I don’t know why exactly, but yesterday ganged up on me. It just smelled of a bad day. I was less productive than I intended, got some news that didn’t sit well, stupidly cut my nose with scissors, argued with my husband and my back ached from an overly enthusiastic tabata exercise move. I was having one of those “everything Keep reading!

Thanksgiving Dysfunction: Take It Or Leave It?

Thanksgiving dysfunction. Thanksgiving is one of those holidays that doesn’t strike a strong chord with me. It is mostly uncontroversial. It’s like the Canada of holidays (though not Mayor Rob Ford Canada. He’s a country in and unto himself.) Thanksgiving is more like John Candy Canada: nothing too sensational, slightly out of the ordinary, occasionally amusing, with an accent I can Keep reading!

I’m Getting a Fake Christmas Tree

It’s True. I’m Getting a Fake Christmas Tree I have been holding out on you guys by not blogging about this earlier. My entire life growing up and then as an adult, I have always decorated a real Christmas tree. Real Christmas trees are far superior to fake trees in every way. It’s like buying imitation vanilla extract to make Keep reading!

15 Tips To Make This Holiday Season Fun-Part 3

Continued Holiday Season Fun If you missed Holiday Season Fun part 1 and part 2, click the links. 11. Tell your brother and his uptight wife and teenage only child that you are coming to visit with your family of five and don’t give him an end date. He will be grateful to see you and your adorable children under the age of 3 for Keep reading!

15 Tips To Make This Holiday Season Fun-Part 2

To catch up, read the first post about making this holiday season fun. Holiday Season Fun continued below: 6. Pay for professional risque family photos to put on your holiday card. Everyone is going to have a pic of their kid in a red and green Christmas sweater or sitting on Santa. Make yours memorable. Make this year the near-naked Christmas. Your Keep reading!

15 Tips To Make This Holiday Season Fun- Part 1

Holiday Season Fun 1. Give your boss (the one that travels all the time and has allergies) a puppy as a present. Really, just give anyone a puppy for Hanukkah or Christmas. People love gifts with a lifetime of responsibility attached, and it will highlight what good judgment you have. 2. Get totally hammered at the Office Holiday Party. When Keep reading!

Shameless Parent Brag About Prison Tats

Shameless Parent Brag: Thanksgiving Edition Parents who say they don’t brag about their kids are either liars or parents of burgeoning felons. In that spirit, I would like to dedicate this post to my eight year old daughter, Blair.I live in a 100 year old house surrounded by 75 foot tall trees. Our neighborhood is infamous for its old trees Keep reading!