Irony: You Have Cancer. You Don’t Have Cancer

You don’t have cancer

Thursday I received a nice letter from the Mammography Office that performed my initial mammogram a few weeks ago. As you may recall, the mammogram did not detect anything unusual or identify any lumps or masses on my breasts. The “you have cancer” thing had nothing to do with the mammogram. Directly after the mammogram, the same technicians performed an ultra-sound, and that did visualize something that looked suspiciously cancery. The friendly letter from the mammography clinic a week later was cheerful. It began, “We are pleased to inform you that your breast imaging exam is normal/benign (not cancer).” Whew! Oh, wait. Remember, Jennifer? You have cancer.

You have cancer

In the same batch of mail, I also received a letter from my surgeon at The Siteman Cancer Center. I needed a note from my doctor to obtain some particular service offered to people with cancer. The breast surgeon’s letter wasn’t nearly as chipper as the letter from the mammography clinic, but began, “To Whom It May Concern.” Then the letter quite rudely advised the recipients that, “Ms. McCoy is currently a patient of ours being treated for breast cancer.”

Make up your minds, people! You have cancer. You don’t have cancer.

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