Always an 80’s Bridesmaid- Wedding 8

The 80’s bridesmaid on the left in the group wedding party photo, Vanessa, looks like she’s offering the groom some dangerous scissors she is mad that he’s not taking from her hand. TAKE THIS. I DON’T WANT TO HOLD IT. Stupid affable groom surrounded by enough shoulder padding to make a soft landing parachuting from a bi-plane. Leg of lamb Keep reading!

Always a Bridesmaid- Wedding 4

I still have this bridesmaid dress and there’s no way I can get into it without a body shoe horn and some crisco. Still always a bridesmaid, not a bride. I think this bridesmaid dress was full length but I cut it off at some point for a fancy party. I forgot Jen Hard adorned herself with that gynormous honkin’ Keep reading!

Always a Bridesmaid: Bridesmaid Whore

It occurred to me that it is fashionable to hate Valentine’s Day. That makes me super fashionable today, because like the majority of you, I fucking hate Valentine’s Day. I then wondered who, exactly, liked Valentine’s Day. Children. Children are the only people who love Valentine’s Day. That is, they love it until they sprout pimples and start getting crushes on Keep reading!