Practical Graduation Presents Your Graduate Will Really Appreciate
It’s that season again: GRADUATION! This time always fills me with nostalgia for my own graduations, of which I had three, not seven like these punks that “graduate” from pre-K or “graduate” from Middle School. I mean actual, diploma-producing graduations. If it doesn’t have a diploma party favor, it’s not a real graduation party, people.
No more fumbling around with clumsy individually-wrapped contraceptives
with your girlfriend in the dark while your dorm mate pretends to be
asleep in the bed five feet away. Trust me, he wasn’t getting any sleep
anyway. And the pull-string means you don’t have to sit up.Or lay down.
Or whatever. One word, here, Grads: convenience. It’s only a pull-string
metal tunes blasting from his spanky new Dodge Challenger, the Pontiac Firebird of the Twenty-Tens. This life-saving admonishing Visor Clip will surely be a welcome reminder not to text after he’s had a few too many Bud Light Tall Boys. I’m slightly confused by the road runner image driving on top of the car with flames. That seems more unsafe than texting INSIDE the car. Could just be me.