De-friended: Boring Over-share on Facebook

I’ve spotlighted The Vague-bookers & The Whiners. I now provide you with the same fifteen people you don’t really remember who share far too many mundane thoughts with their closest Facebook pals:

Boring Over-share on Facebook

This is my elbow.

My feet smell.

I have gas.

I laid on the couch all day yesterday.

I’m still lying on the couch.

Day 3: The couch and me.

I have a headache. (and I don’t even want to avoid having sex)

My nails need a good trim.

Butter kicks margarine’s ass.

I just watched all three Jackass movies in a row and I will never be able to recapture that time.

I see trees and shrubbery when I look out the window.

I shaved my legs. I do it every season.

I don’t understand people who prefer fried over puffed Cheetos.

I’ve been playing with the hangnails on my fingers all day.

Today is not my birthday.

Squirrels suck.

I think Bears are cool. Not the ones from Chicago. Just bears. The ones who shit in the woods.

I heard a great joke yesterday but I don’t remember the punch line.

I didn’t get promoted today, even though promotions aren’t coming out this time of year. Also, I don’t have a job.

I really think I like chocolate.

I feel achey. I think I have bird flu.

There’s a spot on my left butt cheek that mysteriously itches.

I’m eating canned soup tonight for dinner.

Tomato soup is my favorite Campbell’s flavor.

I should really trim my nose hairs soon.

I don’t like chicken.

I have disliked gravy my whole life.

I deeply hate board games.

Kids are messy.

I’m bored.

I had a super weird dream last night, but I can’t recall the details.

Work is sooooo busy.

My nose is running.

I am super busy.

Where does the time go?

I’m important because I’m very busy.

I haven’t been able to sleep in days.

It’s hard to sleep after shooting meth for four days in a row.

I’ve been looking up my symptoms on Web M.D. and I think I have ass cancer.

2 thoughts on “De-friended: Boring Over-share on Facebook

  1. A dear friend of mine died of anal cancer a few years ago but I know she would have approved of me making fun of ass cancer. It’s such low hanging fruit, so to speak!

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