Mr. Anderson thinks Oklahoma Sucks

In conjunction with my post about the Bourbon Family Center, I googled the best and worst things about Oklahoma and came upon a little treasure about how Oklahoma sucks from a one MrAnderson.  I am an Army Brat, having grown up all over these United States. I lost my virginity in Oklahoma and spent the better part of my young adult and adult years in Native America, so I consider myself somewhat of an expert on the subject of Oklahoma and whether Oklahoma sucks. Among the worst things about Oklahoma, the clever MrAnderson (Neo to his followers) chronicles the following:

Evidence Oklahoma Sucks, according to Mr. Anderson

MrAnderson’s List of Worst things about Oklahoma:

My Response:

Hicks Whew! I am relieved to know they quarantine Hicks in Oklahoma by the un-blurred state lines of Texas, Missouri, Arkansas, New Mexico, Kansas and Colorado because there aren’t ANY HICKS in those states. When a person living on a pig farm in Arkansas gets a hankerin’ to get their hick on proper-like, they drive their refurbished 4 wheeler over the Oklahoma border where they embrace their inner hick. Highest population of hicks in Oklahoma. OK is thick with hicks, as the sayin’ goes!
Backward mentality Again, I apologize. I was unaware Oklahoma had a monopoly on the phenomenon of backwardness. MrAnderson, have you BEEN to Arizona? Have you WATCHED Duck Dynasty? Those crazy hicks are from Louisiana!
Lack of high end entertainment such as REAL theme parks Wow. Okay, I see how it is with you and your determination to convince others that Oklahoma sucks. I get that a man of your education and stature may find the video arcade a bit pedestrian for your affluent taste. You may aspire to games more challenging than Atari Centipede to meet your “high-end entertainment needs”, but seriously? You don’t think Frontier City is a “REAL” theme park? Are you “too good” for Arbuckle Wilderness Park? You and your family (so long as they aren’t queers) can take a freakin’ “exciting ride in your car on a safari full of emotion and adventure.” I submit that High-end entertainment was built on the backs of emotion and adventure. Who needs the stinkin’ Guggenheim Museum? That building looks like a snail anyway. Guggenheim don’t have shit on Arbuckle Wilderness Park.
Cowtown reputation Because Kansas City seems to have suffered egregiously from that reputation.“Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.” John Wooden
To [sic] religious of a reputation I mean, “a little religious” is fine, but let’s not go all overboard on Jesus, please. A little Jesus is fine, but A LOT of Jesus is, well, A LOT of Jesus. Big, praying hands? Please! Moderation, people. Dancing- it’s okay. It doesn’t take much to get your Jesus on in full-swing.
Failure to allow adult entertainment E. Nuff. Said. MrAnderson, you do have a point, Sir.
No high end higher education facility (as in the reputation of Harvard) First of all, you strike me as a prestigious college alum, but as I have stated many times in the past, what, exactly, is wrong with community college? Like Eastern Ivy League schools have something over mid-west party colleges? What’s that you say? Oh, okay. I see your point. Never mind. My bad. Higher education “facility”? As in temporary buildings or panel siding? I’m not sure ivy grows on siding? Not that I have those bona fides…
Mobile homes in the middle of acreges [sic] I mean, come on! Mobile homes on the top of buildings, sure! Near the airport, absolutely! Mobile home parks off the highway entering the city? How embarrassing! But man-made homes plopped in a field in the middle of nowhere bothering exactly no one? On land they own? How tacky is that shit? Can’t they afford to live in a shanty in town? Or a fucking tree house?
Lack of media talent (we use to have a great deal of talent) When, in THE hell, did Oklahoma ever have “a great deal of [media] talent”? “The pinnacle of my broadcasting career is Oklahoma” said no aspiring broadcasting person  ever.
Lack of high end shopping Right. That goes along with “high end education facilities”. Bring one, the other will follow, MrAnderson. Give me Harvard, then Neiman Marcus will follow. And then where will we be? Wearing Bobbie Brown make-up to Vatterott College classes.
Too many ethnic restaurants 1) Are you saying that fried fish and fried okra equate to two different ethnicities? Vegetable and protein are not from different cultures.2) Chinese & Mexican are not “too many”. They are “two”.3) BBQ and Pizza are not ethnic classes.4) “Too many” ethnic restaurants? Seriously? Is the dearth of choices paralyzing you? You have Chicken Palace, China Palace, Pizza Palace, Wings & Waffles Palace. There is no pleasing some people!

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