Plan For When Parents Attend a Concert
7:15 p.m.: Multiple adults arrive at House McCoy with their sundry tweener children in tow
7:20: Adults down first shot of frozen Effen black cherry vodka, open first beer, get kids settled for the night
7:30: More friends arrive, later-arriving friends peer-pressured into doing first shot of Effen black cherry vodka, open first beer, long-timers down second small shot of vodka, finish first beer
7:40: Adults eat cheesy crab bites to get a food base in stomach, sitter arrives
7:50: Adults do one last tiny shot of vodka, finish up beers, wonder if sitter is judging them
7:55-8:05: Ska-loving adults walk to The Loop to watch The English Beat at The Duck Room at Blueberry Hill, unruly children harangued by babysitter, adults continue to drink a couple of very small pints of beer at venue.
9:00: Expert sitter gets all children down for bed all over the house whilst adults 80’s wall-dance to “Save It For Later” with other like-minded forty-somethings (and those dragged there by them)
11:05: Parents attend s concert then leave The Duck Room a few songs before the encore realizing they have to get kids to school in the morning, stumble home, grumble as they walk, try not to drop cash to pay to sitter
11:15: Adults arrive chez McCoy, sloppily greet and pay sitter, wonder if she’s judging them, take aspirin, Xanax, drop in their beds
7:10 a.m.: FUCKERS!
7:20: Adults slowly get out of bed, wondering why we let Kevin make us do so many shots, power down some coffee, scream at children to get dressed already
7:50: The first adult who gets dressed leaves for school with an assemblage of whatever children are ready
8:20: Another responsible adult leaves with hopefully the rest of the children, whether they are ready or not, and drops them off at the Elementary School