MyFitnessPal needs to motivate me better

pants untied

A good friend of mine and I started using the MyFitnessPal app the summer of 2014. For the uninitiated, the MyFitnessPal app tracks calories and food consumption as well as calories burned through exercise. Like finding the right personal trainer (I prefer ones that tolerate me cursing through most of my exercises), it’s important to find the right companion fitness Keep reading!

Who said aging wasn’t going to be any fun?

Aging: What surprises it holds What better way to commemorate the passing of my high school reunion weekend than with a trip to the medical device store? I have this thingy with my knee. It’s swollen and hurts all the time. Blah. Blah. blah. The doctor told me to start wearing compression socks and directed me to the medical product Keep reading!

Bad Grammar: It’s always fun ’til someone gets hurt

bad grammar

Sometimes I use bad grammar. I can barely tolerate the shame. I put myself out there on The Internets, and The Internets have spoken. The Grammar Nazi has proclaimed, “NO SOUP FOR YOU!” Is it coincidence (or is it irony? I think it’s irony! I’m so paranoid to hit publish post I could scream!) that I have violated Weird Al Keep reading!

Should You Get a Tattoo In Your Forties?

tattoos

Why would anyone get a tattoo in their 40’s? The first reason that jumps to mind is that they aren’t dead yet. I’ve written about how I feel about age-appropriate behaviors before, so let me reiterate my point. I believe if you are bold enough, at any age, to dress up like a smurf and run between houses for candy Keep reading!

Festival of Popular Delusions Day

popular delusions

In honor of the Festival of Popular Delusions Day, June 5th, I list some of my own personal popular delusions (from my own head): Despite the fact that I catch glimpses of my mother’s face and my grandmother’s demeanor in the mirror looking back at me, I still harbor hope that I will avoid screwing up my kids in the Keep reading!

Hey Ladies: You’re Only As Good As Your Expensive Face Cream

Are Expensive Face Creams Worth It? I know I need to use eye cream regularly. Not like I “need” toilet paper, but like I “need” spanx for self-worth. I can’t escape the fact that I’ve become one of those women of a certain age who could really benefit from a nightly heaping double scoop of eye cream, hold the sprinkles. Keep reading!

The Cure For Blogger Writer’s Block

What do you write a blog post about when you can’t think of anything you want to write? Completely uninspired. Bored with my normal topics. I’m not sure what the problem is. I mean other than the obvious writer’s block.  I’m not feeling lazy. In fact, I’m hellbent to publish a post today, just to spite myself, or maybe to Keep reading!

Ever Feel Like A Tweaked-Out Meth Head?

Tweaked-out Meth Head Have you seen the video of the tweaked-out meth head at Wal-mart? More to the point, have you seen yourself in the video of the tweaked-out meth head? Have you have ever yelled at the cell phone ringing in your pocket when you knew who was calling  and you didn’t have the right answer they wanted to Keep reading!

Do I Have To Be Sexy In My Sixties?!

Yes. I Have To Be Sexy in My Sixties (Because I Have a Vagina) A magazine headline caught my eye while standing in the grocery line last week glamorously buying groceries for my family of five. The Closer Weekly magazine cover proudly featured a photograph of former Bond Girl actress Jane Seymour in a pink string bikini. Jane Seymour and I Keep reading!

My 2014 New Year’s Goals Won’t Resolve Themselves

2014 new year's goals

I like this time of year. It heralds in new beginnings, a blank slate, a fresh start. I like making goals, and I check-in periodically to gage where I am on fulfilling them. I usually reach some of my New Year’s goals for the year, or adjust them if they were unreasonable, like giving up guilt or cursing. Of course, Keep reading!