Summer Vacation Teachable Moments We took the children on a whirlwind tour of New Orleans, Louisiana last week. It was mostly great. I had forgotten what it sounds like to listen to your arteries harden after eating fried food. Non-stop. Every meal. Seriously, dining in the French Quarter was like eating at the State Fair every three hours. Fried chocolate Keep reading!
What is wrong with my children? A few days after school ended my husband and I threw the three amigos in the car and took them on a whirlwind tour of some of the best fracking states in the continental United States. Okay, one best fracking state: North Dakota. What were we met with? Bovine stares. Duck faces. Eye rolling. Keep reading!
Family Vacation to San Francisco: Shut Down! Denied! Piss Off! My Great Aunt Exa’s dying wish before she departed this world was that I take my family to Alcatraz on World Animal Day 2013. In other words, take a family vacation to San Francisco. If it weren’t for the unfathomable immaturity and irresponsibility of the House of Representatives circle jerk Keep reading!
My children are going to be home any minute. Their suitcases are packed and waiting expectantly next to the front door. The children walked to school today thinking it was just any other day. Tonight they’ll be sleeping in another state. Surprise Vacation I decided there are too few really great surprises in life so the old man and I Keep reading!
What family gathering couldn’t be enhanced by a bunch of liquor and firearms? Keep reading!
Road Trip Adventures Almost Over The road trip adventure continues today. Santa Fe, NM to Grand Lake, OK. Yes, our vacation is lasting forever, but the kids picked up four new state notches on their belts: New Mexico, Arizona, Utah and Nevada. I mean, not like I’m obsessing about how many states we travel to or anything. Random observation: I’m Keep reading!
Sedona, AZ to Santa Fe, NM. Birthday Road Trip Adventure It was my birthday on Day 7 of our road trip. I started every sentence that day with “Since today is my birthday…” It was also Prince’s birthday. I hope he was as imperious as I was. “You will all be my slaves from now on! I wish to hear Keep reading!
Las Vegas, NV to Sedona, AZ. You don’t appreciate how vulgar something is until you experience it standing next to an innocent child or a nun. Nuns and children can really cramp an adult-themed event. I know Vegas is a town that caters to degenerates of all creeds and caste systems, but holy moly, enough with the moving billboards plastered Keep reading!
St. George to Las Vegas, NV. Scene for check-in to St.George Bed & Breakfast: We arrived late. I walked up to the office and rang the innkeeper from a London-styled phone booth. Proprietor Ed greeted me and I followed him to his office where he offered me to rest on his couch while he prepared my key. He met the Keep reading!
Santa Fe to St. George, UT. Played car games to pass the time. Pointed out the rock formations that looked like boobs, dung, nose holes, horizontal cat faces, monkey skulls and the tribal doll who tormented Karen Black in that moronic 1970’s Trilogy Of Terror movie. Sadly, no zombies. Drove through a few swirling dust devils in AZ. Passed on Keep reading!