It is no secret that my 9 YO daughter Blair wants to be POTUS (President of the United States) when she grows up. She has been steadfastly answering the question of what she wants to be when she grows up with a heartfelt, “I want to be the President!” since age three. Her proclamation invariably begs the question of, “President Keep reading!
Stop Facebook posting instead of living Some mundane status updates are post-worthy. When your kid tells you you’re the worst mom ever after you drop their newly purchased ice cream on the sidewalk, for instance. There are those status updates on social media, however, that make you wonder if someone has seriously lost their mind. I give you: Status updates about Keep reading!
Grow Old Gracefully or Age Disgracefully? I know what I vote for! It was great to see my friend, Sarah, who visited for the weekend. We met each other wearing Come On, Eileen overalls when freshmen in college at The University of Oklahoma. We sound like each other on the phone and finish each other’s sentences. Firmly establishing our compatibility over the Keep reading!
This is how shit goes downhill. I am considering renting out our house and asked several friends about signing up with a corporate housing service, university house finders, etc. In my email, I said, “It’s either rent my house or start hooking. Please save me from hooking.” Well, that got me thinking that I would probably make a terrible hooker. Keep reading!
Dear Lady in line for the bathroom at Winslow’s Home: Words cannot adequately express how grateful I am that you let me cut in front of you to use the toilet Saturday during lunch rush hour. Although I am certain you could hear the pain in my voice and couldn’t help notice me dancing around like I’d just been shot Keep reading!
The other day, I yelled to a friend at elementary school kid drop-off, “Hey! Loser!” He objected to the characterization because he was wearing a nice suit and felt that “Sir Loser” was more befitting his stature. That got me thinking that I confronted a similar issue when I ordered kid’s pajamas from Boden, a British company. The website provided Keep reading!
It occurred to me that it is fashionable to hate Valentine’s Day. That makes me super fashionable today, because like the majority of you, I fucking hate Valentine’s Day. I then wondered who, exactly, liked Valentine’s Day. Children. Children are the only people who love Valentine’s Day. That is, they love it until they sprout pimples and start getting crushes on Keep reading!
So, I’m not in the mood to blog today so I’ll talk about other people’s blogs, which I have been researching of late. Wow! That almost sounded like I was employed for a minute. I’m sure it would not surprise you to know that people blog about ANY and EVERYTHING. One of the more interesting blogs I found was one Keep reading!
Gay Chris: You were right that my Becky True Religion jeans have stretched mildly over the course of the entire day I spent mostly sitting in front of my computer wearing my new jeans (with my sexy pooch hanging over) and taking shallow breaths. For that, I take back the hateful thoughts I recycled in my head about violation of the gay man/straight Keep reading!
I have one pair of jeans that don’t make me feel like a bloated toad while I work on getting back into several pairs of jeans purchased when I was a svelter version of myself. I have been wearing the one pair of jeans that currently fit practically every day for months waiting for this transformation to happen. Damn the Keep reading!