Bullshit Bingo-Family Edition

Are you familiar with the Corporate world’s Bullshit Bingo game? The concept is that you and your co-workers scurry into yet another department meeting. But this time several of you are in possession of a Bullshit Bingo card with maddening over-used phrases like “At the end of the day”, “synergies”, and “think outside the box” on it. You mark off every time some jackass says something on the bingo card. The first one who gets to Bingo simply yells “BINGO!” in the middle of the meeting. Hilarious. I created such a game as a coping mechanism when my family came to visit me last year. We were able to mark the second row down under “I” within an hour of my parents’ visit. Enjoy. I’d love to read your personalized entries.

Family Bullshit Bingo
B
I
N
G
O
Complaint on the back-end when they didn’t take responsibility for any task on the front-end
Interminable
couch
squatting
Over-hugging to point of recipient’s
mental
discomfort
Opinionated about topic without corresponding life experience
Complaint about  inept child-rearing that makes you suspect when you are not in the room that you are on the menu
Complaint about ambient temperature
Calling 2nd husband by 1st husband’s name
Complaint about absent family member
Talking about highly successful girlfriend/boyfriend you failed to marry or successful cousin who lives in a bigger house than you do
Judgey comment re: your undone house projects
Becoming immune to feeling food bits are on their face
Walking around with pants unbuttoned after meals
Passive/Aggressive comment
 Judgmental comment
Starting a conversation with “Well, what you REALLY ought to do is…”
Acting like of course everyone shares their political opinion
Except for idiots
Telling a story in ten minutes when three minutes will suffice
Asking nosy, impossible-to-answer politely Q’s such as “How much did you pay for your house?”
Comment that confirms your suspicion that they fancy themselves a martyr
Exceptionally narrow food preferences that can only be met with full-time chef on staff
Expecting you to call them but never calling you
Comment that sounds like a compliment but really isn’t
Able-bodied but expect to be waited on
Unsolicited advice
Double bonus for Depression-era
child-rearing tip
Racist comment and subsequent oblivion that comment was racist

2 thoughts on “Bullshit Bingo-Family Edition

  1. Jeezus, I was scrolling down and hit that “pants unbuttoned” square a little too fast. I swore it said “pants removed.” That’s way beyond Bingo.

    Maybe the family should enjoy Festivus like the Costanza’s. Feats of strength and the airing of grievances. Never mind, it’s already happening!

    –Jill

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