Always a Bridesmaid- Wedding 4

I still have this bridesmaid dress and there’s no way I can get into it without a body shoe horn and some crisco. Still always a bridesmaid, not a bride. I think this bridesmaid dress was full length but I cut it off at some point for a fancy party. I forgot Jen Hard adorned herself with that gynormous honkin’ bow on the back of her head. BIGGEST BOW EVER. That hair bow has got to be the same size as a bootie bow. Nice touch, Jen! Circa 1988.On a COMPLETELY different note, my daughter advised me that my radiated cancered boob looked like it was covered with chocolate yesterday. I’m sorry. I know that’s a vision you can now not get out of your head. I suppose that’s better than coffee grounds. Aren’t you glad you stopped by today? It’s like getting a jolly rancher every time you visit. My gift.

Besides, I didn’t want Jay complaining that I don’t blog about my boobs anymore.

Also, who is going to tell you these things if I don’t? I don’t want you all to walk around in ignorance, especially when I am here to illuminate you. Now you’ll know to ask someone who has been radiated if their radiated body part looks like chocolate yet. It’s all good.


2 thoughts on “Always a Bridesmaid- Wedding 4

  1. When my daughter was 12 she wanted to be Bride of Frankenstein for Halloween. I dragged out my old wedding dress from 1978, and she tried it on. It fit. (I had been a size 2). I actually had to let the side seams out so she could actually wear it, she wasn’t fat, just very broad shouldered, like a swimmer. She finally believed me when I said I used to be skinny!!!

  2. I had a pineapple size soft tissue sarcoma surgically removed from my right flank back in December of 2010. Following that were 35 daily 30 minute radiation treatments. The skin of my right flank has been the color of a dark tan ever since. I don’t believe it will change.

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